Continuing the run of tracks from Dr. Syntax’s Self Taught, here he is with “My Night” a jokes track lamenting the world of badly-run/poorly-managed nights around the country. If you’ve run/performed at a night like this, you can…
INTRO:
- Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me!
- Oi! Dr. Syntax?
- Can I have a word please?
- Umm… Excuse me? Excuse me?
VERSE 1:
- Excuse me, hi; my name is Blah Bah Blah,
- I’m a friend of a guy you once met in some bar,
- On some night, in some town,
- Yeah, you were some star on the open mic,
- Word is you showed some class,
- And some honeys asked when you’re coming back,
- Ever since you showed up, the locals don’t even want to rap,
- You’ve got a gift kid,
- That’s some sick shit,
- You wanna get yourself around; make some quids quick,
- Yeah, anyway, what I meant to say,
- Me and my mate are putting on nights now,
- And you could get to play,
- And obviously you’d be getting paid,
- You’re interested? Great! That’s settled then, let’s set a date,
- I’ll put you down for a support slot,
- For someone known, who performs lots,
- You might have bought his stuff, he’s got loads out and it’s all hot,
- And I’ve got no doubt he’s gonna go down a sure shot,
- But he won’t get all the props,
- Your show’s rowdy, and the whole crowd’ll treat you like you’re some sort of God,
- I’ll call you in the week before it’s on, it’s gonna be awesome!
- I’ll leave you with that thought then I’m gone.
CHORUS:
- Come to my night,
- You’re someone that the punters might like,
- ‘Cos you’re wily, high, plus you’re the right price,
- So that’s why I’m acting like Mr. Nice Guy,
- All smiles; never showing you my sly side.
- Come to my night,
- You’re someone that the punters might like,
- ‘Cos you’re wily, high, plus you’re the right price,
- So that’s why I’m acting like Mr. Nice Guy,
- All smiles; never showing you my sly side.
VERSE 2:
- It’s gonna be fucking dope,
- Champagne reception,
- No expenses spared,
- You’re the star mate,
- We’re gonna put you on – whoa, such an honour!
- Ah, hi! Nice to see you made it,
- It’s a shame you couldn’t make the sound check around 8-ish,
- But that’s cool, we’ll sort the levels out,
- I can’t really stop and chat though, it’s getting pretty stressful now,
- What’s that? They won’t let your mate in,
- Even though you explained your both supposed to be playing,
- I’ll see what I can do,
- But I can’t promise great things,
- Security’s tight and they take some persuading,
- Yeah, I had a word and what they’re now saying,
- Is absolutely no one else is getting in without paying,
- I know it sounds lame but,
- But if your mate pays now we’ll sort him out later without failure,
- We’ll settle all debts of course,
- Oh yeah, do you mind if you go on earlier than we said before?
- The main act said there’s 4 of his friends on tour,
- So that means there’s an extra set in store,
- I’d love to get you all a drink but our budget is fucked,
- So I’m sorry, but we really can’t stretch it more,
- The other guy that’s playing is hibernating in his hotel where we left a 100 pound rider waiting,
- I’m afraid there’s no back room,
- Oh that room?
- Sorry man, that’s for the other rap group,
- They’re some really bad dudes, known for acting uncouth,
- So the only way you’re getting in is if they wanna shag you.
- I know you don’t feel valued,
- But that’s too bad,
- Management rules; I run it how I have to,
- Remember when we said you have some cash due?
- Well that rumour that we can’t afford to pay?
- Hmmm… that’s true.
- We made a major loss today,
- Sorry mate, there’s only enough to cover travel costs you paid.
- Next time, we’ll have some profits raised,
- Money in our coffers and we’ll offer you a proper wage.
- What you mean we don’t show you respect?
- Don’t let a little recognition go to your head.
- It’s us that put you on, so you owe us a debt,
- You should just be chuffed with any fucking show you can get,
- Come to my night,
- Naah!
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