(+1 rating, 1 votes)This track is taken from a mixtape by Illustrate a.k.a. Ollie Bates, dating back to about 2004. Unfortunately, it’s no longer available on the web including Headcount Records’ Bandcamp page. That said, definitely check out the…
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VERSE 1:
ILLUSTRATE A.K.A. OLLIE BATES
- It was a Friday
- I left my house and slammed the door behind me
- Started walking down towards the corner shop on my street
- Walked in to buy a can of drink and a pack of crisps
- Grabbed a pack of Skips and a Fanta out the fridge
- Walked up to the counter
- Went to hand the man a quid
- He turned around and said he saw me nabbing sandwiches
- I thought “What the fuck?”
- This guy’s off his nut
- I said “You can search my pockets ‘cos I ain’t got your stuff”
- He then called me a liar and said he’d phone the police
- I shouted “Look you stupid prick, go and check your CCTV”
- I haven’t stole your sarnie or any other darn thing
- All I want to do is buy this food and stop arguing
- He carried on talking all about the law
- So I grabbed my stuff and tried walking out the door
- Just about to leave when I heard him shout “Freeze!”
- I turned around to look and he smacked me in my teeth
- Knocked me off my feet and I slid across the floor
- I didn’t stop moving till I hit the shop wall
- I got up, looked about for something strong and hard
- I wanted a weapon – all I saw was chocolate bars
- Fuck it! Grabbed a Twix and threw it at him
- It bounced off his head and landed near where he was standing
- His face turned livid, he looked like he was tripping
- He looked at me as if to say, you’re life’s about to finish
- What was I to do?
- He was coming right towards me
- I could’ve gone for the door
- But he’d’ve probably caught me
- I sprinted down the nearest aisle
- And hid a while
- I had to think of something
- Otherwise he’d kill me now
- I couldn’t think of anything
- So I grabbed some penny sweets
- And launched them at him
- As he turned the corner looking menacing
- Most of them missed
- But one struck him in the eye
- He could hardly see
- So I took the time to fight
- I ran at him at full pace and did a flying jump kick
- Hit him in his face and left him lying on his stomach
- You wanna mess with me, you’ve got some sort of death wish
- I got all big-headed, ‘cos my kick was well impressive
- I stood there for a second
- Expecting him to want more
- But he didn’t move and stayed lying on the shop floor
- Shit, what’ve I done?
- I hope he’s fucking breathing
- I better leave the shop before somebody comes and sees me
- I picked up my Skips and picked my Fanta off the floor
- Straightened up a bit and quickly slipped out the door
- And that’s my story
- Corner shop bloke
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